So, I jacked this from Megan, who hijacked it from Kristin, who hijacked it from someone else.  At least I hope she didn't make it up on her own, because if you did, girlfriend you have too much time on your hands.

1. How tall are you barefoot? 5’8''.
2. Have you ever smoked heroin? Yes
3. Do you own a gun? Absolutely not.
4. Rehab? No
5. Do you get nervous before "meeting the parents"? No. 
6. What do you think of hot dogs? Veggie Dogs!
7. What's your favorite Christmas song? Don't have one
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Medium cup of medium roast with shot of espresso
9. Do you do push-ups? Girl push-ups (yeah Kristin!)
10. Have you ever done ecstasy? Yes
11. Are you vegan? Not yet, but hopefully one day.
12. Do you like painkillers? I try not to take in any chemicals that aren't necessary, so I'm all about finding the source of the pain and fixing that, rather than loading up my body with medicines.  On that note, I do take some fabulous pills when I have one of my intense migraines.  Maxalt.  A+
13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex/potential lovers? Chloroform
14. Do you own a knife? Yes.
15. Do you have A.D.D.? Nope (It's actually ADHD now, according to the DSM V TR)
16. Date Of Birth? 07/27/82
17. Top 3 thoughts at this exact moment:
a. I need to work on some projects.
b. When is Mario getting home from band practice?
c.  Lovely Rita meter maid.........
18. Name the last 3 things you have bought:
a. Prizes for games at the St. Patrick's Party Sat. night
b. Stuff for the office (expense acct)
c. Armoral
19. Name five drinks you regularly drink:
a. water
b. coffee
c. Dr. Pepper
d. beer
e. wine
20. What time did you wake up today? 7.
21. Current hair? Long
22. Current worry? I'LL NEVER GRADUATE
23. Current hate? The arrogance of George W. Bush and his administration
24. Favorite place to be? Hanging out with friends
25. Least favorite place to be? Traffic jam on the Causeway
26. Where would you like to go? now?  to bed
27. Do you own slippers? Yeah, several pairs
28. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years? Hopefully working for a publishing firm in Europe.  That's the game plan now.
29. Do you burn or tan? Did you see me apres Mardi Gras?  Burn, baby, burn!
30. Last thing you ate? Winn-Dixie brand Fruitie Pebbles
31. Would you be a pirate? Hmmm...I'd get to travel, but I think it would be hard to be a vegetarian.  I'll have to think about that.
32. Last time you had an alcoholic drink? Last night.
33. What songs do you sing in the shower/car? Dude, I have a new song in my head every other minute.
34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child? My sister!  Or that the goblin under my bed was gonna grab my toes.
35. What's in your pockets right now? Keys.
36. Last thing that made you laugh? Army recruiter called me at home and asked if I had ever thought of joining the Army.
37. Best bed sheets you had as a child? Sarah got all the good sheets.
38. Worst injury you've ever had? Nothing really bad there.....some ulcer on the cornea of my right eye; DON'T SLEEP IN YOUR CONTACTS!!
A moment of silence for #39, which has been lost to us.
40. How many TVs do you have in your house? 2, but we just have DVD players, no cable.
41. Who is your loudest friend? Harry
42. Who is your most silent friend? Tova
43. Does someone have a crush on you? This client brought me a flat of strawberries yesterday.  Now that's love Tickfaw style!
It is my hope that #44 died as honorably as #39
45. What is your favorite book? That's like asking what's your favorite eyelash.....I'm not answering.  I like books.
46. What is your favorite candy? Skittles.  Original Skittles.  Oh, and sponge candy.  HELL YEAH!  
47. What songs do/did you want played at your wedding? heh heh.....dum dum da dum/DUM da dum/da dum/da dum
48. What song do you want played at your funeral? With a Little Help From My Friends by The Beatles
49. What were you doing 12AM last night? Sleeping
50. Do you love the pain a tattoo brings? Omgwtf… yeah. I’m completely hooked.  (I'll second that, Megan!)

 MY PRINTER ATE MY FINGER!!!

I was trying to stop a paper jam mid-print and the printer snagged my finger and tore off a piece!  How bad you ask, in deepest sympathy?  There was flesh stuck in the printer!!  godDAMNit!!!!  

So, beware!  BEWARE!  We've trusted these satellites too long, my friends.  Take my word, they are out to get us!!  Trust none!  Take no prisoners!!!  It's on, bitches!! 

You fit in with: Humanism Your ideals mostly resemble that of a Humanist. Although you do not have a lot of faith, you are devoted to making this world better, in the short time that you have to live. Humanists do not generally believe in an afterlife, and therefore, are committed to making the world a better place for themselves and future generations. 20% scientific. 100% reason-oriented.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Well......these things always seem to be generic bullshit, but this one is right on the money.  A+ to the creator of this quiz.  Well done.

You will take over Macao using only some pruning shears Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Slobodan Milosevic Found Dead in Cell

AMSTERDAM, Netherlands - Former Yugoslav leader Slobodan Milosevic, the so-called "butcher of the Balkans" being tried for war crimes after orchestrating a decade of bloodshed during his country's breakup, was found dead Saturday in his prison cell. He was 64.

Milosevic, who suffered chronic heart ailments and high blood pressure, apparently died of natural causes and was found in his bed, the U.N. tribunal said, without giving an exact time of death.

He had been examined by doctors following frequent complaints of fatigue or ill health that delayed his trial, but the tribunal could not immediately say when he last had a medical checkup. All detainees at the center in Scheveningen are checked by a guard every half hour.

Milosevic's death will be a crushing blow to the tribunal and those looking to establish an authoritative historical record of the Balkan wars.

"Justice was late," said Hashim Thaci, the leader of ethnic Albanian insurgents against Milosevic's forces in 1998-1999 in Kosovo's capital, Pristina. "God took him."

Though the witness testimony is on public record, history will be denied the judgment of a panel of legal experts weighing the evidence of his personal guilt and the story of his regime.

"It is a pity he didn't live to the end of the trial to get the sentence he deserved," Croatian President Stipe Mesic said.

The death "does not alter in any way the need to come to terms with the legacy of the Balkan wars," Austrian Foreign Minister Ursula Plassnik, whose country holds the rotating EU president, said in Salzburg.

Milosevic, a figure of beguiling charm and cunning ruthlessness, was a master tactician who turned his country's defeats into personal victories and held onto power for 13 years despite losing four wars that shattered his nation and impoverished his people.

Milosevic led Serbia, the dominant Yugoslav republic, into four Balkan wars during the 1990s. The secret of his survival was his uncanny ability to exploit what less adroit figures would consider a fatal blow.

He once described himself as the "Ayatollah Khomeini of Serbia," assuring his prime minister, Milan Panic, that "the Serbs will follow me no matter what." For years, they did — through wars that dismembered Yugoslavia and plunged what was left of the country into social, political, moral and economic ruin.

But in the end, his people abandoned him: first in October 2000, when he was unable to convince the majority of Yugoslavs that he had staved off electoral defeat by his successor, Vojislav Kostunica, and again on April 1, 2001, when he surrendered after a 26-hour standoff to face criminal charges stemming from his ruinous rule.

Bosnia also has sued Serbia, accusing it of genocide in the first case of a country standing trial for humanity's worst crime.

 I finally got some pictures of my new cousin.  Or second cousin.  Or first cousin once removed.  I'm not really sure, but he's related somehow. 

Introducing Perry Michael Conklin!!!

Perry and his momma, my cousin Melanie.

My cousin-in-law Drew is amazed that he made such an adorable little thing. 

Everybody say "Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!"

I should have posted this a few weeks ago, but I think I've been a combination of too upset and short on time.  A friend from Natchitoches killed himself February 18th.  Here is the obituary from the Baton Rouge paper:

Michael Matherne was a child of God, an angel on loan to this Earth and a truly loving son, grandson, brother, nephew and especially friend. A cook at Louie's Café and a resident of Baton Rouge, he died at 11 p.m. Saturday, Feb. 18, 2006. He was 21 and a native of Jackson, Miss. Visiting at St. James Episcopal Church on Friday, Feb. 24, from 10 a.m. until religious service at 11 a.m. He is survived by his father and mother, Charles Matherne and Deborah Pee Matherne; grandmother, Margie Warren Pee; sister, Angela Matherne Faust and spouse Robert of New Orleans; two brothers, Christopher Matherne and spouse Allison of New Britton, Conn., and David Matherne of New Orleans; two nephews and a niece. He was preceded in death by his maternal grandfather, Thomas Pee; and paternal grandparents, LeRoy and Emily Hunter. Michael was a 2002 graduate of McKinley High School and a member of the band and the gifted and talented program. He attended Northwestern State University, Natchitoches, and LSU. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made on his behalf for mission work in Honduras and the Bay Islands. Donations may be sent to St. James Episcopal Church, 208 N. Fourth St., Baton Rouge, LA 70801, with reference "Michael Matherne Memorial."
Published in The Advocate from 2/23/2006 - 2/24/2006.

Mike dated my good friend Brooke for a while when we lived in Natch.  He always climbed the big trees in the old neighborhoods around town.  I remember going to Brooke's house and when I'd pull up he'd holler out to me from some perch high up in the tree.  One night at the Pioneer Pub he was trying to get Roy's attention to say goodbye, but Roy was in the middle of one of his stories, so Mike just put his lit cigarette butt in Roy's shirt pocket.  Anyone else would have suffered some extreme Aryan wrath, but with Mike....Roy just busted out laughing because it was such a Mike thing to do.  He was different, and I'm not trying to sugarcoat his life and say that Mike was the guy that everyone should have met in order to have made their lives better, but he did make many of my days better, and I know I'm not the only one. 

At the risk of sounding like an After School Special: If you ever need someone to talk to, you know I am here.  Call me, email me, text me, show up on my doorstep at 3 am.  Don't hold it all in.  Please.

How about one big, condensed update?

1. I've been going CRAZY on ebay buying records for my new record player.  I've gotten a Beatles boxed set along with some other Beatles albums; some Pink Floyd; Janis Joplin; Billy Joel; Beach Boys; a boxed set of Elton John....all original releases.  I think I have a problem, but admitting it is the first step, right?

2. Our stupid landlord is raising our rent.  How much you ask?  26.04%  Yeah, that's regoddamndiculous.  So we're moving.  There are new apartments being built right next to our current building.  Mario and I walked over there this weekend and they are NICE.  They won't be done for another month or so, but some of the building were open and the workers let us go in them.  The two-bedrooms have two full baths and balconies off of each bedrooms.  Plus, each unit comes with a washer and dryer.  They will most definitely cost more than what we are paying now, but if we're going to pay more, we'd rather pay more for better quality, you know?  The units do look a little smaller in the living rooms.....I think we'll have to get rid of some stuff, which could be a good thing, but as we discussed it this weekend, we couldn't even decide where to start. 

3. There is a 'special' client I deal with on a regular basis who swears that the government, along with a group of major corporations, got together 20 years ago and implanted her with a chip that controls her 'biology'.  So far they have caused her to have random bouts of illness, divorce her husband, and to just be unable to function as she normally would.  She shows us the scar all the time (there is no scar) and tells us her horror stories of being held against her will for the surgery and shit.  She has apparently gone to numerous hospitals to get it removed, but "they're all in on it" and tell her to "go away and don't tell anyone else about it."  She came in today and said "Katy, you're a smart person.  I have a question for you."  I'm thinking it's a computer question.  No.  She asks, "If someone offered you free brain surgery, but then implanted you with a chip to control your brain and held you hostage for twenty years, how would you sue them?"  Yeah.......  I'm like "Held you hostage how?"  "Well, they control your thoughts and keep you from living your life."  I'm trying so hard to keep a straight face because other people can hear this conversation and I have to treat it seriously.  I say, "Well, I guess you could maybe sue them for false imprisonment of your brain....maybe for lost wages if it kept you from your job.  And then for mental distress.  I'm not really sure.  You should Google it and see if there is any precedent."  I don't think I get paid enough for this.

4. Mardi Gras is over   It was good times.....sorry if you missed it.  I spent Lundi Gras at the River Front welcoming King Zulu and Rex.  The crowd was large, but apparently not as big as it has been in years past.  Mardi Gras was a beautiful day.  My mother, aunt, and I went on Napoleon Ave. early in the morning and set up camp with our mimosas and king cake.  The crowd was a lot smaller than usual.  Mario and Jessica met up with us later on and Rex rolled around 10.  It was a great parade, pictures in a post below.  I was disappointed that St. Aug didn't march by themselves; they were merged with St. Mary's and St. Xavier.  FYI: St. Augustine is a school with an AMAZING marching band that always gets down in the parades, but since the hurricane the schools have merged.  The atmosphere was awesome; great vibe, good people.  I got a horrible sunburn from my mask....I look like a reverse racoon.

5. Katie is a cooking jinx.  I've never been an amazing chef, but I've been able to cook decent, edible vitles in the past.  But ever since I've started hanging out with Katie, I can't cook.  I burned the scorched the tofu, burned the frozen pizza, FUBARed the potpie, and last night not only did I over cook the quiche, but it was soggy.  And nobody likes a soggy quiche.  Nobody.  So I don't know.....maybe I just won't cook around her anymore.

Alright, that long enough?  Oh, I almost forgot!

6. Mario and I are having a St. Patrick's Day Gathering March 18th.  We're gonna cook something Irish, watch Darby O'Gill and the Little People, and drink lots of beer.  It might be green beer, we're not sure yet, but does it really matter?  Let me know if you can make it.  Peace.

Two of the many costumes made from the FEMA blue tarps.  The girl on the right has a little duct-taped 'fridge for an earing.

See......Mardi Gras is SO a family affair!

Okay, maybe Grandpa should have stayed at home!  And these two, well, we can't take them anywhere.

HAIL REX!  HAIL REX!  That's His Majesty on the left, and le Boeuf Gras on the right.

If you've read Confederacy of Dunces, you know who that is on the left.  On the right we have *be still my heart* a whole troop of kiltsmen with bagpipes. 

A float for Walker Percy, a Covington native, and a float for Faulkner....Laurel's (other) main man.

The best dressed float puller on the route and Jessica's two favorite catches: a rubber chicken and a beer!

Mardi Gras 2007 is February 20th. 

Just in case you are wondering about how things are getting back to "normal" down here:  I got a Christmas Card Wednesday.  It was mailed December 19th.  Feliz Navidad, y'all.

Because I miss Kristin, I'm gonna do one of her survey thingies:

Q: WHATS YOUR MAIN RINGTONE ON YOUR PHONE?
A: Janis Joplin "Oh Lord, Won't You Buy Me A Mercedes Benz"

Q: WHAT WERE YOU D0ING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT?
A: Talking to SpeedoBoy

Q: WHAT DID THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE ON YOUR CELL PHONE SAY?
A: "getting off work"

Q: WHOS BED DID YOU SLEEP IN LAST NIGHT?
A: mine

Q: WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
A: Blue

Q: MOST RECENT MOVIE THAT YOU WATCHED?
A: Corpse Bride 

Q: NAME 3 THINGS THAT YOU HAVE ON YOU AT ALL TIMES?
A: Phone, a pen, lighter

Q: WHAT'S THE COLOR OF YOUR BEDSHEETS?
A: Green

Q: HOW MUCH CASH DO YOU HAVE ON YOU RIGHT NOW?
A: $73

Q: What is your favorite part of the chicken?
A: *ahem* "Nothing with a face or a mother"  (you knew that was coming, didn't you?)

Q: What's your favorite town/city?
A: Abbeville/Amsterdam

Q: I can't wait to (til)...?
A: Fucking Graduate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Q: When was the last time you saw your mom?
A: Monday

Q: When was the last time you saw your dad?
A: Same

Q: When was the last time you talked to them?
A: few days ago

Q: Who got you to join myspace?
A: all the people who kept bugging me about it

Q: What did you have for dinner LAST NIGHT?
A: veggie burger

Q: How long have you been at your current job?
A: June 2003

Q: Is Tom on your friends list?
A: I think so

Q: Look to your left. What's there?
A: a printer

Q: Who is the last person you spent over $50 on?
A: my sister

Q: Whats the last piece of clothing you borrowed from someone?
A: does stealing a shirt from Braeden count?

Q: What website(s) do you visit the most during the day?
A: news sites, work sites, blog sites

Q: Do you have an air freshener in your calr?
A: yes

Q: Do you have plants in your room?
A: a lucky bamboo

Q: Does anything hurt on your body right now?
A: my uterus

Q: What city was your last taxi cab ride in?
A: NYC

Q: Do you own a picture phone?
A: nope

Q: What's your favorite Starbucks drink?
A: Don't really go to Starbucks, but I always get a medium roast with a shot of espresso wherever I go

Q: Recent time you were really upset?
A: haven't been really upset since I started the Lexapro 

Q: If you could choose, how would you pass on?
A: I wouldn't

Q: Any kids?
A: no

Q: Any lovers?
A: I have a "liker"

Q: Do you miss anyone?
A: Heck yeah

Q: Do you like revenge?
A: No. It is a waste of energy.

Q: Know how to swim?
A: yes

Q: Do you know how to skate?
A: yes

Q: Know how to snowboard?
A: never tried

Q: Did you do sports in high school?
A: no

Q: A crush?
A: Yes