January 19, 2007

• Fuck Newton

  I just had the most frustrating experience in recent memory. I was attempting to do my calculus homework when my calculator started being a douchebag. (side note: I only took math up to trig--basic trig at that--in high school and in college my math consisted of "The sheik is happy when he has wine, women and song; the sheik has wine, women and song, therefore the sheik is happy"....I heart pure math)

  I have to take calculus to graduate. I will issue the first of many "WHYTHEFUCKDOINEEDTHISSHIT?"s now:
  WHYTHEFUCKDOINEEDTHISSHIT?!?

  I only had 13 problems to do, but I literally cried my way through them. I say literally because I actually did cry whilst doing this homework and it wasn't just a figure of speech, not because I've been caught up in the "throw 'literally' in every fifth word or so to sound smart" craze that seems to be sweeping the nation. Seriously. Stop saying literally unless there is a chance your audience may be confused. Example 1: He's literally my best friend. NO! He is your best friend; there's no confusion. Example 2: He literally ripped off my clothes. YES! Some people say that but they really mean that they just removed their clothes very quickly, but in this case fabric was torn and whatnot.

  Oh crap, where was I? Oh yeah, stupid homework. No, stupid calculator. *le sigh* I guess the real problem here is that I'm usually a very quick learner and I'm not used to not understanding, whether it's a subject or an electronic device. Am I getting old? Has my brain idled too long in the shitty classes that make up the majority of my Business curriculum? And what happened after Johnny shot his sister with the pneumatic laser gun? Tune in next time to find out!

  • 1:21 am
  • 3 Comments